A few years back, my life was in dire straits on all levels. Even my career that was flying high was taking such a toll on my health and wellbeing.
Needless to say that the boss that I was at work was also coming home with me and now when I think back, I take pity on my family having to walk on a straight thin line – very thin some days- when I was around.
I mostly take pity on myself, me the nice amiable person, the gold-hearted (as some qualify me) who was living her life by the side road.
There‘s no guilt feeling about that any longer, years of therapy having been quite efficient, but there is some regret that I have missed plenty of spouse and motherhood moments because I was always away, on business trips, at events, at conferences. There was a time where I didn’t sleep in the same bed for one month straight- and please I mean the word bed literally 😊 don’t go running to my husband with an uncovered secret 😂- but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I was a performer, a go-getter, a great army commander, but I could never be the ruler. I am an amazing second-in-command, as I get the most challenging things done, but I could never bend the rules and do less than what was on the agenda. Sadly that was only at work.
The reverse of the medal happened when I reached my 50’s and found myself still scuttering for others. Do not misunderstand me, but with my birthday approaching, I suddenly realized that besides a great name in the market, I had nothing. Even friendships were a neglected area by all standards 🌚
The ones who truly loved me were there with me and they would recognize themselves in those lines 😊
At that point I turned to religion and spirituality. I had always been a reverend Christian but not much of a practicing lamb – no insult intended here please !- And so, my path crossed that of my heroes and they were a really beautiful bunch.
They got me straight on the Right way. Not without some reticence on my side and a lot of gentle dissuasion on theirs. At that time all I needed to sort myself out emotionally and physically, was to go to classes, learn new modalities, change my thinking process and immerse into a world that was very alien to me just a few months earlier.
My excuses were “ I can’t afford it right now” and when I truly could, I would say “I can’t leave the office for that long”, “ I have family visiting on the weekend”, “my dogs are sick”, “Pacita is on holidays” – Pacita is my long time helper at home 😊- it could as well have meant: ‘leave me alone, let me marinate in my despair and rot in my old age as if I do care! ‘
My heroes were adamant and I still thank them for the tenacity of their arguments over and over again.
“If your car breaks down, you take it immediately for repair” or “if you have a flat tyre, you would never dare drive far” and so on…
My favourite one was “if your bottle is empty, how can you fill up the glasses of the ones you care for?” This metaphor was exactly what I needed, and now I repeat it regularly to my own students.
The bug had finally bitten me and so I launched 🚀 into studying and practicing what I was in the process of learning. Then magic happened 🌈
What I want to share here is that however the obstacles or the excuses, it’s really never about time or money. I truly believe that the reality is more about fear.
We are afraid to take the first step, to do a Tarzan jump i.e. let go of one liane tree before we can catch the next one. Fear to delve into an unknown world that has sadly been taboo-ed for ages 💥
I know someone who at half way of a course in spiritual healing, just dropped out claiming in tears that it was better off in their old misery; at least they knew how to handle it. Unfortunately no hero was around to help them see the better choice. ..
So yes we have all experienced a backward enthusiasm, a time of doubt and question marks. We all have gone through sleepless nights and moody days wondering which part of us are we in reality 🧗🏻♀️ The old shell that was used to a certain routine, finding comfort in their own misery? Or the new person that was shyly blossoming under layers of old habits and standardized thinking set by others.
Today, over and over again I am grateful for my heroes 🦸 their persistence and their love because they knew and they saw before I could even have a glimpse at it, the beautiful human being I am and the wonderful life that is meant to be mine.
Do not fret anymore, if you have heard the calling, if your heart is open for the change, take the leap of faith, jump and the next liane tree will be there to hold you 🎋
Let us be your heroes and lead you safely to the pathway where you can run your life the way you intend it, rather than watching it pass you slowly while you’re standing frozen on the side road 👩🏻🚒